A few days ago I was having a frank discussion with my neighbor who is a nurse about some of the things no one ever bothered to tell me about childbirth -- during and the six weeks following. These were things that really could have been included in the six-week course my husband and I took together before we had our oldest. I realized much later that those Get- Ready- For- Intense- Pain- And- Public- Scrutiny classes only cover the labor and delivery process right up to the moment when that cute baby pops out. Nobody ever tells a new mom what happens after that! Well, that got me thinking about other stages of my life and what I wish I had known going through them. If I could go visit myself in a dream or somehow time travel ala Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, what would I tell myself? On the other hand, would I believe myself and take my own words to heart if I somehow had the benefit of later wisdom at the beginning? (Okay, that's an entirely different discussion). Anyway, here are 10 Things I Wish I Had Known About Childbirth and Post Partum Recovery:
10. My o.b. was happy to induce babies early because it was as much or more of a benefit to his busy medical practice schedule as it was for my convenience.
9. I would have done more walking and exercising through my pregnancies.
8. I would have prepared myself for natural childbirth just in case the epidural didn't work (which it didn't for my third delivery).
7. Babies do not have a regular breathing pattern like grown-ups. O. spent his first few nights at home sleeping in his carseat at the foot of our bed. It was only a few nights because either my husband or I was scrambling to the end of the bed when it sounded like he had stopped breathing. Sleeping improved a little once O. was in his own room. We had NO problem hearing him when he woke up!
6. Post partum uterine lining shedding (bleeding) goes on for a long, long, long time. Blech. Nobody tells you about that!
5. Have some meals made and frozen before the little wonder arrives. And have plenty of fruits and vegetables on hand for after his arrival. Keeping the digestive system working smoothly greatly decreases the angst over using the bathroom for the first couple of weeks post partum.
4. It really does take six weeks before your body starts to feel at all normal, and not until you are done nursing is your body back to being yours again.
3. You still need those maternity clothes for awhile after the baby is born. Dang!
2. Keep plenty of phone numbers at hand to call someone when you think you might be cracking up from lack of sleep, hormones, loneliness, nothing good on tv during the day, hormones, lack of sleep, or uncertainty about what to do with a bundle of joy that won't stop crying.
1. Three and a half weeks is NOT enough time for maternity leave.
I am not sad about being through with childbearing. My quiver is full with creative, strong-willed, too-smart-for-their-own-good, wonderful little arrows already. I don't miss the exhaustion period once I brought my babies home. I don't miss spending loads of money on diapers. I do miss the toothless grins, the snuggling (snuggling has to totally reconfigured when they don't fit in the circle of your arms and lap), the easy conversations with strangers over a baby, and watching them learn how to communicate with the world. I haven't been in a rush at any stage with my kids. I know they are growing up too fast. Pretty soon they are taller than I, deeper-voiced, and more interested in the outside world than in home (at least they think so).
What do you wish you had known?
1 comment:
So true! I have had similar conversations with friends about this exact topic, especially the part about the doctor (since we had the same one!). I mostly wish I had known not to read every little thing that said what your baby should be doing at different stages! Every child is different. They develop at their own pace.
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