Stage/Sports Parents

I just have to get this off my chest. I came home a yesterday from my 14-year-old son's city league basketball game. I love going to watch him play. Today I tried to keep track of his stats just for fun. He's a rebounding fiend! Twenty-three rebounds today. He scored 13 points too. It helps that he's the tallest person on his team. Anyway, usually the games are pretty calm and parents are supportive of their children. But today was very different. We played a team the boys have played a number of times in the past. One boy's parents are heavily involved in the local political scene, and we also happened to be in the same ward for a little while a number of years ago, so I know who they are. I doubt they have any recollection of who I am however, since we were not in the same social circles in the ward, and I certainly don't move in any political circles in our county (let alone our city!). So one would think that being such public figures would predispose them to being aware of how their public behavior goes over with others. But I forgot. This is kids sports we're talking about.

I have heard about obnoxious parents at sporting events in the news all the time. I have heard stories from my sisters when they've attended games with their kids involved in city recreation athletics. But this was amazing. The dad was the mouthy one. He spent the whole game telling the refs how to do their job, and he continually harped, loudly and pointedly, about how one of our players was dribbling the ball. It was driving everyone around him crazy. I turned around and gave him a couple of pointed looks. I finally gave up even looking around behind me at the scoreboard because I just couldn't stand to even look in his direction.

At one point, late in the game, the referee called a charging foul on his son. He vocally contended it, of course. By that time I had had enough and without turning around I said, "Yes it was." He argued back, "No it wasn't." I had to open my big mouth and say a little louder, "Yes, it was." He repeated his statement and some other dad on the other team, sitting behind Mr. Mouth, called out, "What game are you watching?" to me. I glanced around behind me, rolled my eyes, and turned back to the game and muttered under my breath.

Why do some parents act this way? Can't they see their behavior for what it is? Do they really think their child appreciates it? And if the child does, what does that say about how sportsmanship is being taught? What does it say about teaching children to feel entitled? As Mr. Mouth was leaving the game he was commenting on what a dirty game it was to another parent on his son's team. Actually, there really wasn't any dirty play. He was just unhappy the refs didn't call everything his way. One of the referees even turned around finally in the waning minutes of the last quarter and told him to get his rules straight and no, he wasn't going to call "palming" on our player Mr. Mouth kept complaining so loudly about. (Incidentally, I talked with the ref afterward and he explained that at this level he never calls "palming" which is actually technically called "carrying" because the boys' hands are just too small in comparison to the size of the basketball).

I actually wrote this post yesterday, but decided to sit on it for a few hours to make sure I was writing calmly. I still feel annoyed about it today, but much less so. I feel more irritated with myself for not being able to completely ignore him. Hopefully future games will be more focused on supporting the boys' play, cheering them on when they do something fabulous, and letting the refs handle the judgment calls. That's their job.