Okay. Somewhere in there I did breathe. Maybe.
I guess with the Big Holidays ending two months ago I've been catching my breath ever since. Maybe. Late winter brings the annual push to get my piano students ready for their solo festival. Those who participate memorize two pieces to perform for judges and while some students stay on track to be prepared there are always those who, for a myriad of reasons, come into the final days before the March festival frantically cramming to get ready. I know to plan for this craziness. But sometimes there are the unexpected events that engulf your world, turning everything sideways.
Those events can be hard to write about because while they involve me deeply, they have been more about what someone else is going through. It's too personal for the other person, and for me to write about how I am experiencing the struggle may reveal too much for others involved to be comfortable with.
Someone recently shared on Facebook the post another mother wrote about the difficulty of parenting and blogging once your children are past the cute, squishy years or the crazy outfits of elementary school. Rachel Anne Ridge points out,
"And you can't go around blogging about their mean math teacher or their failed attempt at choir auditions. These are things that are too precious, too priceless, too soul-baring, too hard to share. They need you to be their safe place. They need you to keep their secrets. They need you to pick up pimple concealer at CVS and not breathe a word to anyone. They are so easily embarrassed and you must do your part to help them get through it."
Another good friend of mine, Sandra Tayler, keeps a beautiful blog about her family and how she and her talented web cartoonist husband Howard makes things work. She has also written about this challenge mothers of older children have when it comes to blogging here. Part of her solution to privacy for her children was to give each of them an online nickname in her blog when she began. This was as much for their safety as their privacy because Howard is a widely-read online cartoonist. It's a tool that has worked very well as she has been able to share a little more about some of their children's challenges in a way that others can look to her blog for inspiration and direction while at the same time keeping her children's identity private.
With all my children now squarely in adolescence (and one almost out) our family dynamics have changed. I don't regret any of the changes. My teenagers are lively, funny, engaging people with whom I love spending time. The nature of blogging about my family and my life has to change now too. I haven't tried masking my children's identities, so that makes this next phase more tricky. And since my oldest is spending two years in Mexico as a missionary for our church, I started a blog for him so others can share in his consecrated life. That has affected how much time I have for this blog. It's a lot of work to keep up with posting his letters and pictures weekly, although I am slowly figuring out some shortcuts.
In any event, I do want to keep this blog going for myself if for no one else. We still have family outings I want to share. It's time to start work on my garden and yard. The bees need attention, especially with the crazy weather patterns this year. I already know that I have lost one hive even if I don't know why. And I do want to share what it's like to be the mom of older kids, of a missionary who is gone for another eighteen months and what it's like to miss him every day while simultaneously being thrilled about the service he is rendering. Maybe I can help Rachel Anne Ridge and Sandra Tayler bolster the number of blogs by moms of older kids.
It's time to get back on the writing horse again.
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